And Now for Another Exciting Episode of "Who Is This Woman And What's That Black Thing That's Always In Front of Her Face?"
Friday, December 13, 2013Why does this mama person always have that black rectangle in front of her face?!?!?!?
Doesn't she know I have better things to do than just sit under a tree all day long?
Oh. Wait. She has stickers?
In that case, maybe I do have a little time to just hang around and be cute.
But only a little.
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 8:36 PM | |
It's Way too Cold Around Here to Even Think About Having Any Cold Weather. You Know, Cold Weather. That kind of weather they have other places that aren't here.
Saturday, December 07, 2013This baby…ok toddler…loves to help! In fact, she's helping us to the point of sheer exhaustion. She helps unload the dishwasher. She still doesn't really care whether the dishes are dirty or clean. She'll lick either and scatter them on the floor.
Have you ever seen anyone quite so gleefully doing household chores?
She helps make eggs.
They're pretty good too.
She helps clear her place at the table…by throwing all her food on the floor when she's done.
And then later, hours and hours later, she helps by throwing away her food. Or at least she tries - she set this particular piece of banana on top of the garbage can for me to encounter later when I least expected it.
She couldn't throw it away because we have to keep the garbage can locked. Because otherwise she will help us empty the garbage.
She even helped Dad unwrap one of his presents. It's totally okay that he hadn't gotten home from work yet and didn't know he had a present waiting for him. Right?
One place she won't be helping out - the city's Snowfest. Never mind that this is Texas and it's only snowed once in the past six or more years. The sign said the snow fest was STILL being held! Still! One has to at least celebrate the lack of snow with some fake snow. Or something.
Unfortunately, the Snowfest was canceled due to inclement weather.
What exactly was the inclement weather that heralded the demise of the Snowfest?
Wait for it…
It was cold.
Yep. It was a doggone 37 degrees today and WAY too cold to have a festival celebrating snow. Drat. Think of all the help the little Boonga could have given them.
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 8:50 PM | |
If You Choose to Have A "Late in Life Baby", It Might be Best to Encase Yourself in Plaster Before the Kid Can Even Crawl
Saturday, November 30, 2013That baby of ours is cute, but whenever I'm around her I say things like,
"No more 'more'! You already have 'more' right here! Eat the 'more' on your plate and then you can have more 'more'."
My boy on the other hand, ends up having to say goofy sounding stuff just to get me to stop talking -
Me - "Y'Know, when the baby is all grown up and I'm already dead, you're giving to have to make sure she has somewhere to go for Passover."
Boy - ?
Me - "Because you're the youngest. If I'm dead and The-Guy is dead and Older Gal is dead, you and the Sweet Pea will have to make sure the baby has somewhere to go on the holidays."
Boy - ?
Me - "I might not be dead. I might just be old. And doddering."
Boy - ?
Me - "You know!!!!! Like when she's 30, I'll already be 73. So you'll have to have her over for Passover…or at least drop in at her place unexpectedly."
Boy - "As long as I can be referred to as The Godfather."
Hopefully I live long enough to hear the baby say stuff like that. Because it's extremely dangerous to have a "late in life baby". I never sustained a single baby related injury during The Boy or The Sweet Pea's formative years. But I've already fallen flat on the floor three times as a result of this kid.
Not to mention the fact that her car seat attacked me last week and yanked off part of my fingernail and the skin underneath.
Unlike when my boy busted his head wide open, I did not take a picture. You're welcome.
Both The-Guy and I have had broken toes thanks to her little innocent self. I didn't take pictures of our broken toes either. Your welcome.
I used to advise against having a new baby when you already had a high school senior. But that was when she was a newborn and she cried EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT. Having a toddler while you have a couple in college and one in high school is totally, totally worth all the injuries.
She's a lot of fun.
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 7:58 AM | |
Monday, November 18, 2013The problems of today's youth are many. For example, when I'm upset Mama drags out the camera.
And those people NEVER get me the correct art supplies! I told them regular yogurt doesn't have the depth or dimension that I need! Next time maybe they'll get me Greek yogurt.
I even got put inside a block tower!
At least the next door neighbor's dog loves me. She love me not. She loves me. She loves me not. She loves me…
These days there are plenty of cool things to play with:
But, if we don't play our cards right we get could sent to "Lego lessons". Mama says when she was a kid, she just got to play with her Legos.
I hope that everyone is having a good week! (and hasn't been sent to Lego class!)
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 3:12 PM | |
I'm almost as good at cooking as I am at eating. Or wait. Maybe I'm almost as good at eating as I am at cooking. Instructions on how to carve a pumpkin:
Thursday, November 07, 2013First take out some of the goo that's in the pumpkin. Come on in, the water's fine!
Pick up the glass bowl right away and dump all the seeds onto the ground. Try not to get any seeds or goop on the newspaper while you're dumping them. Dad might still want to read it, after all.
I like to make sure and step on the seeds too. I don't fully crush them of course, because I'm not making wine. But mashing my foot in them just so releases the flavor.
Go ahead and keep eating the entire time. Pumpkin guts, a snack, whatever you happen to find on the floor…but don't let any seeds escape!
For that certain eau de drool, make sure and lick the seeds before roasting.
You're supposed to let your mom do the actual carving. I'm not sure why.
Make sure to have a small snack after all that work. Trashing the kitchen is exhausting work! If your mom says you're too little for Halloween candy, see if she'll make you ghosts out of a red banana and some raisins.
Leave the pumpkin seeds on the counter for at least two days or until such time as they disappear because Dad gets tired of seeing them. (as it turns out, Mama doesn't have time to roast and Dad wasn't nearly as enthusiastic about this project as I thought he would be).
Wait...were we roasting seeds or carving a pumpkin? I always forget. Whatever it is, it's probably happening past my bedtime.
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 2:30 PM | |
Saturday, November 02, 2013I guess that's why Mama made me into sushi for Halloween.
The white the rice. The orange is my salmon and the green is probably avocado. Mama likes that better than cucumber.
The black band is my seaweed wrapper. And of course I have carrot for a hat!
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 9:46 PM | |
Tuesday, October 29, 2013Just because a magic marker is washable and nontoxic and has had the cap left off for three days doesn't mean my kid can't find something disgusting to do with it.
Can't you just see the remorse all over her face? Oh no wait...that's marker all over her face.
Why is it that when you leave the lid off a marker for an hour and a half, you come back and can't write with it anymore. But when you leave the lid off for three days and therefore think it's relatively harmless, the kid uses it to cross pollinate herself with a pumpkin?
Couple other pictures and that's about it until I get to put her in some absurd costume for Halloween!
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 9:52 PM | |
Saturday, October 19, 2013
The Boonga loves reading. Of course, reading while sitting on a digital piano is even better...
And it makes the books taste even more scrumptious!
She also loves a green pepper freshly pilfered from Dad's garden and eaten while standing on the coffee table. It helps with her Physics grades too. Especially the gravity part of Physics, because she shoved the book off the coffee table seconds after I snapped these pictures.
But, Boonga's favorite, favorite thing to do is to spin salad.
And of course after spinning it needs to be tossed:
(No lettuce was harmed in the making of this video. All tossed lettuce was about to be tossed into the compost anyway.)
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 10:25 PM | |
Sunday, October 13, 2013Look! Sister bought me a new toy, and mama installed it this morning. So now I have something else to play with in the kitchen!
It's called a safety device and it's made by Safety First. Mama closes it up and then I get to yank if off, just like this:
What?!?!?! It's supposed to keep me OUT of the dishwasher and away from the glass and sharp knives and food processor blades? Oh come on! When will these people ever learn?!?!?
I mean seriously! Just save your energy for keeping me from falling into the pool and messing with the electrical outlets would you?!?!?
(Update - evidently it's not exactly clear from my original post whether or not baby defeated the safety device in question. The translucent strap that she is messing with in the first and second pictures was supposed to stay locked in between the two oval shapes visible at the top and bottom of the strap in the third picture, preventing her from opening the dishwasher. This was a clear win on her part, since she opens the dishwasher with ease even if it's locked.)
Sunday, October 06, 2013My monitor partially died and then the one I borrowed from The Boy completely died, so I don't take pictures or process anymore. I just calibrate and calibrate. And calibrate.
Mostly. Except I got sad about not showing off any baby pictures, so I halfheartedly edited a few old ones on a monitor that continues to turn everything pink no matter what I do.
Corn. It's what's for dinner.
Is there something on my head? It feels like there's something on my head...
Goes without saying. No really. I won't even say. Because I don't even know why.
Posted by Jill/Twipply Skwood at 7:32 AM | |